Selling My Soul On Ebay

Okay, so I’m not really selling my soul on ebay. What I am doing is using ebay and craigslist to significantly downsize. Why?

Because it’s time. God told me so. I’m not sure which god told me or if I was over the legal limit or not at the time but it’s time to live the humble life.

Saying “Selling My Soul On Ebay” probably sounds misleading since selling stuff other than a paper certificate of ownership for my soul, but it isn’t if you think about it. Materialism leads to soullessness according to numerous religions and spiritual movements. In selling off many of my material possessions, according to the oh so humble and definitely not materialistic Pope who likes to wear big hats and things made of gold, I am buying my soul back by shedding my materialism.

The idea got planted in my head sometime last summer when I read an article on Time.com about the “100 Things Challenge” and how a guy named dave widdled his possessions down to a list of 100 things. According to his website, he was not going to go over 100 possessions for an entire year. Sounds like an easy quest. That is until you start counting how many shirts and statues of Jesus and speculums you own. That’s why I didn’t bite when I first read the article.

In the past couple days I’ve started reading a very humorous book by A.J. Jacobs called “The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible”. I haven’t read much of it so far, when the author started ranting about the 10th Commandment and the act of coveting it got me thinking. It falls in lines with other teachings like the Buddhist view on material possessions… You know, about how one should find happiness with what they are able to obtain and not make our live mission keeping up with the Jones’s.

The Jones’s are pricks anyways so why would I care what the Jones’s do or don’t have?

So my goal is a little different than the 100 Things guy. First off, I collect a lot of things and I’m not going to sacrafice everything for a book deal like he is. Instead, I’m on a mission narcissistic self-improvement and drive-thru enlightenment.

I don’t know that I have a specific set of rules to follow (well, other than having multiple items for sale on ebay every day until I decide I’m out of shit to sell). I am thinking that I’ll mostly be complete once I get to the point where my friends all hate me bacause I got overly preachy about “the more material things you bring into your life, the emptier your life becomes” and when I’ve made it much easier to move out quickly due to a foreclosure notice.

Of course now after re-reading what I just wrote, I think my next goal should be to take more of a minimalist approach to my writting.

Cosbyless Magic Pen

Magic Pen is a game where you draw in objects to move a ball from it’s start point to it’s final destination. By using the pen you can draw other balls to drop and push the little red ball. You can also create hinges and levers for swinging and slapping or polygons for ramping or plugging holes. Intelligent design indeed…

It even has great music. It’s like your sitting there with Jesus sampling bits of some mellow Smashing Pumpkins while you create amazing things. I almost half bet that it was the same music that God was jamming to when he was trimming monkey tails and leading them down that path called evolution.

It’s really soothing actually. Whenever I find myself in a dark place I bust out the Magic Pen. Unless that place has no electricity. In that case I weep.

Go. Play. Create. Oh yeah… I rate this a Doubleplusgood out of 10 for the first 10 or 12 levels. After that, every couple more minutes you spend on the game really starts eating away at your soul.

Denying the Pope

According to recent news, people are upset that the pope reinstated a holocaust denying bishop. I myself find the following quote from the Reuters article interesting:

“Especially from a German pope, I would have expected more understanding and sensitivity,” Graumann said. “The fact that this comes from a German pope leaves a certain taste and provokes certain feelings.”

Shouldn’t Mr. Graumann instead said “Especially from a German pope who was a Hitler Youth that lived near a concentration camp and eventually served in the Nazi war machine…”, because it’s true.

People shouldn’t be so quick to judge the pope for going soft on this holocaust denier. For all we know, during the meeting when he re-instated Bishop Richard Williamson maybe he busted out the his old family photo albums to help convince the misguided bishop that the Holocaust was real.

St Cornelius and Angel of Corn

I’m a huge fan of St Cornelius, Corn, Cream Corn, popcorn, and even hominy so I figured I would share yet another picture from my collection of beautiful religious items. My spanish isn’t very good and I was very drunk the entire time I was in Mexico when I bought this, but I’m pretty sure they guy who sold it to me said it was a 16th century carving of St Cornelius, the Patron Saint of Cream Corn.

Anyways, here goes…

One of my Catholic friends told me that this thing had nothing to do with Saint/Pope Cornelius. He said it kind of looked like some weird Day of the Dead angel at a family reunion. How is he supposed to understand the artist’s inspiration when the piece was created?

That guy can be a real buzzkill sometimes. Not like Buzzkill the tv show though. Oh, and speaking of television… I wish I could watch tv while at work so I didn’t miss the inauguration. This thing is huge, and I’m missing it. No seriously.

Easter Dinner Crucifix

Another day, another holy relic.

So after sharing photos of my beautiful Velvet Jesus In Space painting, I thought it was high time to share another one of my decorative deities.

Todays pick is the function-and-form Easter Dinner Crucifix.

The guy who sold it to me told me said that the flatware was used at the “last dinner”. I’m not sure if that is the same as the “Last Supper” or not… Either way, this wonderful piece was well worth the $120 I paid for it.