Somewhere alone the line, the movement got derailed. Evangelical leaders sank in their claws… Reality show seeking politicians hopped on board…

Now we have the RTARD Movement. The fiscal conservative tea partier has been replaced by the vocally anti-abortion (when it’s not my daughter), born again witchcrafters, earth is only 6000 years old, I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-Jesus™ tea bagger.

I was searching twitter for tweets about Ebay when I stumble on some obviously bogus tweet about how microsoft is buying ebay. The start of the tweet was a recently trending topic followed by some random celebrity name. Then I notice another about Ebay that also mentions that another random celebrity died. So I searched a phrase they both had in common. I found a page full of tweets that only spanned 3 or so minutes. Mostly different user names, all using the Twitter API to post.

It’s all garbage like: Monkey Island trend?LATEST Miley Cyrus has invaded south KOREA , OMG OMG !! earned $2,612 thanks to this to this http://tiny.cc/rYoV

Miley has been busy today. According to the same set of spam bots; she has died in a car wreck, drown in a boating accident, and invaded South Korea (poor SK).

I wait a while and look back to the screen, there are like 475 more new tweets that match my search. Those tweets all had one of three shorted URLs via another service. Unfortunately, there is no obvious easy way to report abuse. The site is designed for that sort of crowd shouting so a bot net is right at home. I wonder how many people where lured away off to fake looking youtube windows that claimed you needed a new Flash player to view or javascript or pdf or jpg exploits?

I really do see value in twitter. Or at least I’m trying. On the same note though, it’s like walking through the midway at a carnival. There’s a lot of random normal folks walking around bumping into one another and sharing a little bit of conversation. For the most part it gets drowned out by the asshole running the scam everyone’s a winner dart game though that’s $3 a dart so you can get a roach clip with some feathers or a 6″ by 6″ Bon Jovi mirror. No matter how many balloons you bust, that stuffed animal your kid wants is $30. He’s shouting all kinds of nonsense to try to trick you into getting robbed. He’s got a megaphone in the form of a bot net (or an army of over zealous fans who want to help make the trend list).

I’m going to start flapja.ws for hard core communicators that only need 70 words to share thoughts. Think of it, half the characters = half the keyword stuffing = less spam. That or double the volume of the shorter messages…

On the other hand, there is this guy named Satan. He’s a dick. A total shit. He doesn’t give a damn about you. BUT… There is always a but, isn’t there? This jerkoff, Satan, needs you. He has a plan and he can’t pull it off alone.

So, what does one do? Do you hang with Jesus? Or do you roll with the devil?

I’m sure you’ve all been there. Everything in the world is great. The Son is shining down on you. Then bam! Brick wall. Jesus decides it’s one-way ticket time for your grandma or your puppy or, even worse yet, someone you really care about. You are crushed. You walked the straight and narrow but you still were made to suffer. All people can say to you when you question things is that the Lord works in mysterious ways.

Now back to this whole Satan thing. He needs you. You know he’s a prick. You expect that he’s going to burn you in the end. But since you know this, does getting burnt by him hurt so much compared to the betrayal one suffers when someone you love causes you pain? One could argue that it doesn’t. It’s kinda like that skanky girl you ran around with when you were in high school (or college or at work)… You knew it wasn’t going to last. You expected her to at least step outside on you. Hell, she might even give you the clap or something. All the same, you expected what eventually came to you so you weren’t hurt. No mystery here…

So here we have it. Jesus loves you, but Satan needs you. Who is the safer bet? I myself am not about risk. That’s why I think I’m going to have to side with Lucifer. Plus, that Jesus fellow is the forgiving type.

The 43 people there who were presenting were noticeably excited. They proclaimed that never had they seen such power in a group of people. Four of the seven attendees, including myself, were invited to receive a discount on further spiritual training for only whatever cash we had carried into the room. I almost feel bad for them because that meant I got to go along for less than the cost of a case of beer.

This leads me to why it came to be that I didn’t post here on my website for four plus months… Until just last night I was finally able to prove myself strong enough to withstand the poisons often found out in the natural world. Up until now I was shielded from television, Internet, newspapers, radio, and practically all modes of communication with unbelievers.

I’m back now though and better than ever. Expect regular posts. I’ll share my new knowledge with you all.

Oh, and I moved the comments too. Well, comment. Anyways, back to the show.