Passing Judgement » Pointless

Loving Sarah Palin and LOVING Sarah Palin

billyjacks — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:42:58 +0000

Sarah Palin has quite a few nutty people out there that love her a little too much. Here’s a prime example…

The rest of this guy’s videos are deranged. Oh, and if you can’t tell… I think he is still a little bitter about the election results.

Then you have the people who want to LOVE her… You know what I’m talking about. There was a lot of MILF talk about ~~everyone’s~~ 46% of American’s favorite hockey mom. If you (or someone you know) was sad to see her get back on that plane to Alaska, you can always try to win a date with a Sarah Palin look-a-like.. The real Sarah Palin would probably do slightly better on a geography quiz, but what do you expect. And if Sarah’s a little to fundy for you, she is a Tina Fey look alike right?

Unemployment Caused By Obama Election Win

billyjacks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:49:12 +0000

There is new damning report out about people who are now unemployed directly due to Barack Obama’s election win last night. You can see the disappointment on the faces of the newly unemployed people who were interviewed…

Update: Here is a slightly less fake news release coving an almost related topic…

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

ZOMG! I Voted!

billyjacks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 12:43:16 +0000

It was amazing. Explosions! Voting is awesome. No matter who wins the election, I’m the real winner. Tingling in my pants! Victory for the American people because I got to voice my opinion on which candidate a bunch of power hungry wealthy people groomed and stood in front of tv cameras. Confetti falling from the sky! I win twice if the people I voted for get elected because then they are my friend and I know they will support me and the others who voted them in office. More big firework explosions! This is a great day for our country. Flags waving!

Thanks to all the tards who stood in line for an hour or six to early vote, the entire process took me about 15 minutes this morning. I had one big issue while voting though. Bad enough that I asked for info on how to file a complaint because I was disenfranchised. I did not get an “I Voted” sticker. That’s such a crock because I heard that if you wear your “I Voted” sticker into Starbucks you get a free coffee, an HJ, and a cookie. Do you know how much that stuff costs at Starbucks? Now I’ll have to pay cash instead of getting the freebies. Thanks for nothing Board of Elections.

Now if it was only 6:00pm so I could get drunk in a public place. Stupid backwards laws from the 1800s…

Betting the Farm on McCain a Victory

billyjacks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 00:23:01 +0000

Here is a crazy man who is looking for people who are willing to bet against him that McCain will win the Presidency. He says he is willing to bet his home/property. He claims that he knows for a fact that McCain will get the votes needed to pull off the upset.

Warning to any potential bet takers… He doesn’t show much of his “home” is that is up for offer. From what you can see, it looks like he hired a 4th Grade Social Studies teacher to decorate his house. He doesn’t make mention of if his house is on wheels or not.

My favorite quote is “I don’t want my wealth spread around, that’s why I’m putting my house up for bet.” The guy also does a nice job of touching on Obama’s evil Cap and Trade kills Coal Industry ZOMG! without mentioning that Dear John supports cap and trade too. There is more nonsense, but I don’t want to spoil it all for you.

UPDATE: Captain crazy lost his bet. He is now predicting a revolution and blood in the streets.

Obama Wants My Wife But Not My Vote

billyjacks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 07:56:58 +0000

I think Barack Obama is obsessed with my wife. This weekend I’ve fielded three phone calls from Obama/Democrat call centers for my wife who magically was busy showering, shopping, or otherwise out of the house. This morning I was even greeted by a ringing doorbell (again, while my wife was in the shower) from someone wanting to speak to my wife about early voting and who her candidate of choice was…

They were only interested in her… Not once did anyone want to know if I had voted yet or who I was voting for. They even had me on the phone or on the doorstep. It would have been easy, they could have pretended to be interested and asked. But nooooo… I don’t have breasticles or the other lady parts so they didn’t want to chat me up.

So, if any other party wants my vote just give me a desparate phone call or 3. Maybe have someone knock on my door and make small talk with me. Please. You still have a a little time left. Email me and I’ll give you my cell phone number in case you call the house and I’m not there. Don’t worry about being a major party either. I think my state has about a dozen people as options for President on the ballot so I don’t even have to learn how to type your name in on those satanic computerized voting machines.

I’m still not sure who I’m voting for yet. If you want my vote, just give me a call… Please. I wanna drink the koolaid. I want it so bad. Tell me something sexy to woo me over to your side. I don’t care what check boxes you marked on the census form (apparently some people do). Tell me to vote for your guy because the library has proof that other guy is a scary arab or that if I support your candidate I’ll never have to worry about putting gas in my car or paying my mortgage. Tell me you’ll give me a little sugar. Maybe woo me with a good celebrity endorsement or two. Please give me something. I’m begging you. Just don’t mace me.

Don’t insult me though. I’m a presidential campaign support slut, not a presidential campaign support whore. I don’t take money or bribes for a vote. Instead I just want to be your friend (an ambassadorship wouldn’t hurt either since apparently those don’t count as bribes). If you’re the type of candidate who likes campaign support whores, check ebay. The best part is that you get choice on states, like Illinois, Tennessee, New Jersey, and Arizona.

Edit: Ebay pulled those auctions I mentioned within 90 minutes of me posting this. Well, all but the last one I listed (Arizona) because it was already finished with zero bids. Strange considering the auctions were listed the day before I posted them. If they were watching for them, they would have found them before I did.