Here he is having to give thanks for being saved from an impromptu gender re-assignment surgery performed by Dr. Canine. According to the seller of this beautiful piece of Mexican folk art, the text translates to:

“Ramon Telles was bitten in the testicles by his girlfriend’s dog. He gives thanks to el Señor de Chalma that they were not bitten off and he is still a man.”

I wish I had more cash to really start collecting these things. I’ve only got one right now. You could fix that for me though and buy this one for me. Check out the nifty ebay widget below. I’m testing out using these ebay “To Go” things so I’m not suggesting you check out a dead auction. Anyways, click on widget to see more lovely detailed pictures of poor Ramon’s girlfriend’s dog doing some serious cockblocking.

Speaking of Jesus and Rockets and kicking ass, someone on Ebay is selling a fantastic DOMA Astronaut Jesus Print. If you don’t know about DOMA and Astronaut Jesus, read the Bible. Oh yeah, and search online for the toys.

Since I’m stll temporarily swearing off ebay purchases I’d strongly suggest you buy this. If you don’t want it, buy and and then see if the seller will gift wrap it so you can send it to me.

They take up space (on display of course) in different areas of the house. In the kitchen above my microwave I have a shelf where I keep all our spices and chunk of my “Plastic Jesus” collection. They aren’t all plastic and they aren’t all Jesus, which is why I tossed the quotes up in the sentence before.

The Flaming Lips cover is probably my favorite but since there has to be an original, then this must be it…

But here is the problem you see… After I do some weeding, I find more room to put things I do want. So now there are empty spots in my house where things like this

or this

What makes these so great you say…

Are they valuable? Probably not. Are they tacky? Probably so. Are they Jesusy? DEFINITELY. And that is why I must have them.

It’s vicious cycle. For now I’ve vowed it off. No buying on ebay. Not until I’m competely finished with my purge. And of course, these items will have found new homes by the time I’m ready to start purchasing. It’s quite sad. But I’ll manage. Luckily for me ebay has a lot of stuff (and I have poor taste).

But wait. You could buy them for me. Wouldn’t that be grand? If you do, I’ll send you a custom prayer. If you get both of them for me, the prayer might even include ritualistic animal sacrafice. If you want to buy them for me, just click the pictures…

Thanks in advance.

Anyways, here goes…

One of my Catholic friends told me that this thing had nothing to do with Saint/Pope Cornelius. He said it kind of looked like some weird Day of the Dead angel at a family reunion. How is he supposed to understand the artist’s inspiration when the piece was created?

That guy can be a real buzzkill sometimes. Not like Buzzkill the tv show though. Oh, and speaking of television… I wish I could watch tv while at work so I didn’t miss the inauguration. This thing is huge, and I’m missing it. No seriously.