By BILLYJACKS
Jesus and 25 Random Things
I know. I know. Jesus doens’t have a Facebook account. He told me that you probably wouldn’t Friend him if he did so what’s the point. But… Just because he doesn’t have a Facebook account doesn’t mean he didn’t want to play along with the 25 Random Things meme. Here goes…
1. My teens and twenties were pretty uneventful.
2. Joe isn’t my biological dad.
3. I laugh every time I someone says “Bacon Bits“.
4. One of my friends, he wasn’t on FaceBook so you wouldn’t know him, killed himself after he and I had a falling out.
5. I’m afraid of heights.
6. Like some sort of déjà vu thing, people always seem to claim they’ve met or seen me somewhere before.
7. I’ve been the victim of identity theft so many times I don’t have credit cards anymore.
8. While I think Gandhi is noble and all, I’m not afraid to throw down.
9. Having your birthday on a holiday that also involves gift giving is some kind of cosmic rip-off and I truly hate being born on Christmas. My birthday’s always suck.
10. I am way cool. And that is a fact.
11. It weirds me out when chicks scream my name out during sex.
12. This one time I promised to come back and get my friends but then I totally ditched them.
13. I had to close out my MySpace account because this crazy whore kept sending my friend requests.
14. If I was Super Man, circumcised penises would be my kryptonite.
15. Some people thing that I have a foot fetish.
16. It weirds me out more when chicks scream my dad’s name out during sex.
17. I love zombies. Zombie movies, zombie toys, zombie anything…
18. Someone stole my foreskin. One of them?
19. I love Peeps more than I should.
20. Introducing children to the Glory Hole of God brings me great joy.
21. It weirds me out even more when dudes scream my name out during sex.
22. One time I cursed and killed a tree for refusing to provide me with fruit, even though the fruit wasn’t in season, and then convinced my friends that they too could kill trees on command if they did what I said.
23. My mother was a virgin, which means I’m the one who broke her hymen.
24. That whole walking on water thing was just a prank.
25. The number on the national debt clock isn’t even close to keeping up with the number of people that I’ve seen masturbate.
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By B , February 12, 2009 @ 7:25 am
Of course Jesus loves Zombies! When you think about, he was or is one!
By Anji , February 18, 2009 @ 2:04 am
I love this. You must have spend hours researching it.
By Mamachel , May 16, 2009 @ 11:37 pm
i absolutely love this … soo much thought went into this and it pays off.. HILARIOUS