Jesus Has Left the Building
In my book, the only thing better than a giant tacky black velvet Elvis painting is a giant tacky black velvet Jesus painting. Luckily for me, I found god at a nearby auction house and after a little bit of a bid war I was the victor.
This thing takes up quite a bit of real estate on my wall. The painting itself is 36″ by 24″ and the frame probably adds about 3″ all the way around, which I’m pretty sure is life size (the Bible doesn’t say how tall Jesus was so for all you know it could be, shut up).
This particular depiction of Astronaut Jesus appears to be staring off into space pondering the great mysteries of the universe. My guess is that he is wondering why Earth girls are easy, especially the ones who use MySpace and Xanga.
See the look in his eyes. He’s clearly in deep thought.
You can read it in his face and almost hear his voice… “Did I really die on the cross so loose women could use subpar social networking tools to hook up or otherwise flirt with strangers?” Trust me, I’ve seen that face before. It’s either that or he’s trying to remember where he left the keys.
