Family Guy is fantastic. Unfortunately though I think it is a little unfair that they use their show to promote John McCain and don’t give any time on their show to Barack Obama or any of the other people running for president.
I was digging through some obscure news and found a rather strange article involving someone who needs some tender loving judgement…
Some 14 year old kid in India had to have a fish removed from his bladder that was 3/4 of an inch long by 3/5 of an inch wide (the fish, not his bladder). The best part of the story is the boy’s explanation of how the fish got there…
“According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home.”
[Read the full story]
Man. Wew. Dang. I don’t know how everyone else cleans there aquariums, but I’ve never had anything remotely close to that happen to me. That kid sounds like a real winner.
Speaking of winner, make sure to enter for your chance to win $5 (or some other prize) in next Monday’s Closing Bell Contest.
It’s time for Stock Market Limbo boys and girls!
All apologies to Chubby Checker and the Limbo Rock - the song below is set to the same beat and pattern (and will probably change as I get more time to work on it and/or get better suggestions).
Every limbo boy and girl
Markets in limbo around the world
Gonna do the limbo stocks
All around the market dropsMarket be in limbo, Market drop quick
Market go unda limbo stick
All around the market drops
Should we sell these limbo stocksLimbo lower now
Limbo lower now
How low can it go?First you spread your limbo cheeks,
Your ass the market limbo beats.
Market Bailout please spare me,
Can’t retire till I’m ninety-three!Market be in limbo, Market drop quick
401k go unda limbo stick
All around the market drops
Should I vote John or Barack?Fall-al-al
Fall-al-al
Fall-al-alDon’t become a limbo churl
Give that limbo market a whirl
Fed cut rates on the money
That no bank will loan to me.Market be in limbo, market drop quick
Retirement plan unda limbo stick
All around the market drops
Soon I be living in a box401ks cut in half
That’s some scary ass math
How low can it go?
Let’s face it folks, the financial markets are looking pretty scary.
Do you keep money in the stock market hoping that this was rock bottom and tomorrow will be brighter? Do you sell now and put your money in a bank that is offering a fixed interest rate? Do you keep contributing to your 401k when the market seems to be losing 10% a week (or more)?
Before you make a frenzied knee jerk decision that does more harm than good(like passing a pork filled $700 billion bailout to reward bad business practices), read these important tips for smart investing during a global financial crisis:
1) Don’t pull money from a risky market to put in riskier banks - The market is taking a nose dive in large part due to banks failing. Instead, pull money out of a risky market and put it into board games like Risk. Risk takes forever to play and when you and most of your friends lose your jobs, you’re going to have a lot of free time.
2) Don’t hold cash thinking the dollar is gaining strength - The dollar is inching up versus some foreign currency but that is actually an illusion. Those currencies are dropping to our level, we aren’t raising to theirs. Also, lots of people talk about stashing cash under their mattress. TERRIBLE IDEA. If the sherriff comes and locks up your house because you’ve been foreclosed on, how do you expect to get to your mattress?
3) Invest in metals - Metals are increasing in value. Don’t trust buying paper that says you own gold. On the same hand, don’t trust your home security system or bank in protecting your investment into metals. Instead, buy brass, copper, or zinc. It’s price doesn’t bounce like gold does and a smart brass shopper knows it can be dually functional. It’s called a bullet. They come in various shapes and sizes. If you are buying in large bulk, I’d suggest NATO rounds. They can be sold in pretty much any country on the planet.
4) Invest in children - As the song goes, they are our future. They are great sources of cheap labor and require less food/water to survive than a full grown adult. No matter what happens to the ecomony, there is always a market to sell them if need be.
5) Invest in a good food dehydrator - Hard times are coming. Properly dehydrated and stored food can last 10 to 30 years. Your friends and family might think your crazy, but they’ll realize their mistake when they are standing in a soup line for hours and your at home sipping your own soup.
PASSINGJUDGEMENT.COM PROVIDES NO WARRANTY/GUARANTEE ON ANY FINANCIAL INFORMATION PROVIDED HERE OR ANY OTHER DAMN PLACE FOR THAT MATTER. I’M ONLY SLIGHTLY BETTER AT SPENDING YOUR MONEY THAN THE GOVERNMENT. PLEASE SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR SPOUSE BEFORE MAKING ANY SERIOUS FINANCIAL DECISIONS. IT’S THE ECONOMY STUPID.
